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1、“谢谢你老Gus擦亮我们的生活Thankyou,OldGus,forbrighteningourlives,“我们的心以及最重要的我们的鞋子”ourhearts,andmostimportantly,ourshoes.这对我确实是百感交集的一天Thistrulyisadayofmixedemotionsforme.老GUS退休了我很难过msadthatOldGusisleaving,但我能帮Andy以开拓者礼堂新鞋匠的身份重启生活butitallowsmetohelpAndyrestarthislifeasPioneerHallsnewshoeshineguy.你们这些无聊演讲我已经听了50年
2、了Well,vebeenlisteningtoyourboringspeechesforthelast50years,现在终于有一次你们能听我讲了andnowitstimeforyoutolistentooneofmine.知道吗这样的天真的让人反省自己的生活Youknow,adaylikethismakesamanreflectuponhislife,而我得出的结论是我的生活彻底浪费了andvecometotheconclusionthatvecompletelywastedmine.顺便说我从来没喜欢过你们叫我老GusAndjustfortherecord,Inevereverlikedb
3、eingcalledOldGus.我二十来岁的时候还不懂但我现在讨厌死了IdidntunderstanditwhenIwasinmy2Os,andIsurehateitnow.所以你们每个人都下地狱吧Sogotohell,everysingleoneofyou.去你♥妈♥的♥PaWnee去你♥妈♥的♥你们的鞋子ScrewPawnee,andscrewyourdamnshoes.哦天啊真经典Oh,God.Thatsclassic.公园与游憩公园与游憩公园与游憩第2季第8集第2季第8集所以我提议将我们的名字So,I
4、proposethatwechangeournamefrom从大坑美化子委员会theSub-committeeforPitBeautification改为空地美化子委员会totheSub-committeeforLotBeautification.April停下来你给谁发短♥信♥呢April,stopthat.Whoareyoutexting?你啊You.嗷Aw.她在给我发呢Shestextingme.抱歉让你觉得无聊msorryyou,rebored.呃大家好嘿AnnUh,hey,everyone.Oh,hey,Ann.1.eslie能跟你说件事吗1.eslie,
5、canItalktoyouforaminute?行Tom你来主持Fine.Tom,youreincharge.保持这个劲头保持这些思路Keepthemomentumgoing.Keepthesemindsworking.当然头儿好的Absolutely,chief.Okay.你是希望能飞呢还是说流利法语呢Wouldyouratherbeabletofly,orspeakfluentFrench?Donna开始-法语Donna,go.-French.我不想吓到你Idontwannafreakyouout,但另一个部门签署r48号♥地的使用计划butanotherdepartment
6、filedaplanningclaimforLot48.谁Who?不-是No.-Yeah.该死图书馆吗Damnit.Thelibrary?Pawnee的图书馆部门是最恶毒的Pawneeslibrarydepartmentisthemostdiabolical,最无情的官僚们从来没见过这样的ruthlessbunchOfbureaucratsveeverseen.他们跟暴走族一样Theyrelikeabikergang,但不是川猎枪和冰♥毒♥而是用政♥治♥头脑和嘘声butinsteadofshotgunsandcrystalmeth,the
7、yusepoliticalsavvyandshushing.没事的还没完全确定呢Itsgonnabeokay.Itsnotadonedeal.是的你没错谢谢你拉我出来Yeah,youreright.Thanksforpullingmeoutofthere.我需要一个好计划我不想制♥造♥恐慌Ineedagoodplanthough.Idontwanttocauseapanic.新闻快讯我们被&hearts汗♥了我们跟图书馆有个大♥麻♥烦Newsflash,werescrewed.Wegotabigproblemwiththel
8、ibrary.干书的混♥蛋♥Punk-assbookjockeys.等等为什么我们讨厌图书馆Wait.Whydowehatethelibrary?图书馆是人类历史上最糟糕的乌合之众Thelibraryistheworstgroupofpeopleeverassembledinhistory.他们刻薄纵容粗鲁并目.饱读诗书Theyremean,conniving,rude,andextremelywellread,因此他们十分危险whichmakesthemverydangerous.而且他们正想偷走48号♥地来开新分馆Andtheyretryingto
9、stealLot48foranewbranch.什么-滚吧What?-Getoutofhere.是的是的-48吗Yeah.Yeah.-On48?其实我觉得有个离我家这么近的图书馆挺好的Iactuallythinkalibrarywouldbenicethatclosetomyhouse.我们扳倒图书馆吧-耶1.etsbringthelibrarydown.-Yeah.但我肯定不会在那里说啊Butmnotabouttosaythatinthere.新分馆-混♥蛋♥们Anewbranch?-Jerks.开玩笑吧-啊我讨厌他们Yourekidding.-Oh,Ihatet
10、hem.好吧我们得跟他们那边的人联♥系♥Okay.Weneedtomakecontactwithsomeonethere.谁认识在图书馆里工作的人吗Doesanybodyknowanybodythatworksatthelibrary?那个我们其实算认识Well,weactuallykindofdo.部门新副主任是TammySwansonThenewDeputyDirectorofthedepartmentisTammySwanson.Ron的前妻吗那太好了Ronsex-wife?That,sterrific.或者太糟了我是说他讨厌她但他认识她Oristhatawf
11、ul?Imean,hehatesher,butheknowsher.应该没问题还是说还是一样Everythingsokay.Orisitjustthesame?1.eslie你又把心理活动说出来了1.eslie,yourethinkingoutIoudagain.是吗确实是AmI?Iam.真好啊那个前妻姨♥子♥现在在给图书馆打工了Ofcourse.Thatbitchofanex-wifeisworkingforthelibrarynow.太完美了Thatisperfect.世界最坏的人在世界最坏的地方工作Theworstpersonintheworldworking
12、attheworstplaceintheworld.我得去和她聊聊你得给我点对付她的招数Ihavetogotalktoher.AndyougottogivemesomethingIcanuse.她有什么弱点吗Doesshehaveanyweaknesses?没有No.什么意思没有每个人都有弱点啊Whatdoyoumean,no?Everybodyhasaweakness.机器没有Notmachines.我真的相信她是未来人编写后1honestlybelievethatshewasprogrammedbysomeonefromthefuture送回过去来毁灭一切幸福的tocomebackandd
13、estroyallhappiness.我知道了只是我知道你有两个叫Tammy的前妻Isee.JustIknewthatyouhadtwoex-wivesnamedTammy,我希望至少有一个你能相处得来soIwashopingthattherewasonethatyougotalongwithand.不她俩我都讨厌Nope.Ihatethemboth.在我的病床上我最后的愿望是让我的前妻们赶回我身边Onmydeathbed,myfinalwishistohavemyex-wivesrushedtomyside,所以我能用最后一口气最后一次告诉她们该卜地狱soIcanusemydyingbrea
14、thtotellthembothtogotohellonelasttime.我会再婚吗哦当然WouldIgetmarriedagain?Oh,absolutely.如果你连爱情都不相信了活着还有什么意思呢Ifyoudontbelieveinlove,whatsthepointofliving?我只期待会和Tammy有一场理性对话mjustlookingforwardtoathoughtfuldebatewithTammy来讨论公园和图书馆的相对价值abouttherelativemeritsofparksversuslibraries.如果出了什么坏事我戴了最锋利的戒指Andincasesom
15、ethingbadgoesdown,Iworemysharpestrings.这个能把你撕碎Thisonewilltearyouup.图书馆服务部门副主任TammySwanson你好嗨Hello?Hi.我是LeslieKnope我稍早打过电♥话♥mLeslieKnope.Icalledalittlewhileago.你还真有脸在这露面啊Youhavealotofnerveshowingyourfacehere.你什么意思Excuseme?你一共有$3的还书逾期罚款小姐Youhaveoverduebookfeestotaling$3,missy.这也太典型了我该知道你会用这种下三滥的Thatissotypical.Ishouldhaveknownyoudusealowblow,肮脏的狗屎手段不是dirtypoolBSmove