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1、周一早上好啊Ron-早上好Goodmorning,Ron.-Morning.我知道你多享受文书工作但别在那晃了1knowhowmuchyouenjoypaperwork,butdonthover.椅子不错是新的吗Nicebench.Isthatnew?不那个90年代就呆在这儿了No,thatsbeentheresincethe90s.你周五生日怎么安排WhatareyoudoingforyourbirthdayonFriday?没安排我从没.Nothing.Inever.啊哈Aha!哦天Oh,God.生日生日生日Birthday,birthday,birthday你的生日到了It,syourb
2、irthday你的生日到了我知道是哪一天了It,syourbirthday,andIknowwhenitisRon拒绝告诉任何人他生日是哪一天Ronrefusestotellanyonewhenhisbirthdayis.他甚至在所有政♥府♥文件上都划掉了He,sevenhaditredactedonallgovernmentdocuments.三年的调查电♥话♥ThreeyearsOfinvestigations,phonecalls,信息自♥由♥法案请求仍然一无所获FreedomOfInformationA
3、ctrequests,andstilbIhadnothing,冰淇淋店直到精巧贿赂Baskin-Robbins的某绅士换来这份情报untilawell-placedbribetoagentlemanatBaskin-RobbinsrevealedRon的生日是这周五RonsbirthdayisonFriday.该死我已经那么小心了Damnit.Iwassocareful.哼你搞砸了吧Well,youblewit.就只为了一勺免费的朗姆酒菊萄干AllforafreescoopofRumRaisin.值得吗ROn值得吗Wasitworthit,Ron?Wasit?我命令你什么都不要做Icomman
4、dyoutodonothing.我不会什么都不做的我要做点什么mnotgonnadonothing.mgonnadosomething.会搞得很大的Andit,sgonnabereallybig.我有很多年需要补上呢Ihavealotofyearstomakeupfor.我不喜欢吵闹的声音和人们小题大做1dontlikeloudnoisesandpeoplemakingafuss,而我尤其不喜欢人们庆祝andIespeciallydontlikepeoplecelebrating知道了我的一条私人信息becausetheyknowapieceofprivateinformationaboutm
5、e.此外这整个事情都是个骗局Plus,thewholethingisascam.Hallmark著名贺卡品牌生日是贺曼公♥司&hearts泼明用来卖♥♥贺卡的BirthdayswereinventedbyHallmarktosellcards.公园与游憩公园与游憩第3季第12集第3季第12集他们立了个栅栏Theyputupafence.谁Who?不是吧-那是啥No!-Whatsthat?Pawnee和Eagleton之间有个小公园然后.TheresasmallparkonthelinebetweenPawneeandEagleton,and.昨晚Eag
6、leton在他们那侧立起一片栅栏1.astnightEagletonputupafencearoundtheirside来阻止我们恶心的Pawnee流浪汉们踏上他们的宝贵之地tokeepusdisgustingPawneehobosofftheirpreciousland.他们甚至还安排了保安需要出示Eagleton身份证才能进入Theresevenasecurityguard.YougottoshowEagletonI.D.togetin.Eagleton就是一群有钱的势利小人Eagletonisabunchofrichsnobs.这句话还是来自我这个开着奔驰Andthatscomingfr
7、omsomeonewhohasaMercedes.车上带有哈曼卡顿L7环绕声音响系统的人WithaHarmanKardonLogic7surround-soundsystem.谁会立栅栏阻止小孩在操场上玩啊Whobuildsafencetokeepkidsoutofaplayground?三个字LindsayCarlisleShayThreewords.LindsayCarlisleShay.谁啊Who?1.indsayCarlisleShay曾和我是最好的朋友1.indsayCarlisleShayandIusedtobebestfriends.我们曾在Pawnee公园部一起工作Wework
8、edtogetheratthePawneeParksDepartment.然后她去Eagleton上班了ThenshewenttoworkinEagleton”治好了鼻中隔偏曲”andfixedherdeviatedseptum减掉了30斤的体重还掉了点什么andlost35poundsandlostsomethingelse.是什么来着呢Whatwasitagain?哦对她的灵魂Oh,yeah.Hersoul.Eagleton那边真的比Pawnee这边好那么多吗IstheEagletonsidereallythatmuchbetterthanthePawneeside?公平来讲是的Tobef
9、air,yeah.我们这边是一片破烂的地方Oursideisthisscrappypieceofland只有小孩子去砸日光灯管wherekidsgotosmashfluorescentlighttubes.但这个地方很有心Butithasalotofheart.那是啥东西很烂的时候人们经常说的Thatswhatpeoplealwayssaywhensomethingsucks.我们应该支持自己的镇好吗Weshouldstandupforourtown,okay?Pawnee人就和Eagleton人一样好PawneeansarejustasgoodasEagletonians,除了平均起来我们矮
10、几公分然后胖72斤althoughonaverage,weareseveralinchesshorterand80poundsheavier.Eagleton人们对我们完全刻薄PeopleinEagletonarestraightupmeantous.我根本不会踏足那个地方Iwouldneversetfootoverthere.但那是唯个我能买♥♥到宝宝与宝宝洗护用品的地方Butit,stheonlyplacethatIcangetmyBumbleandBumblehaircareproducts,所以我每8天要去一次somthereeveryeightdays.好
11、的嗯我要开展”栅栏不再行动”了Okay,well,IamonOperationNoMoreFence,1所以我让你负责“Ron的生日聚会:震撼与惊叹”行动somputtingyouinchargeofOperationRonsParty,colon,ShockAndAwe.交给我吧Iamalloverit.我只需要你做列表上的东西Ijustneedyoutodowhatsonthatlist.1.eslie有很多让我恐惧的特质1.esliehasalotOfqualitiesIfindhorrifying.但目前最吓人的是她能考虑得多周到Buttheworstonebyfarishowthou
12、ghtfulshecanbe.这是我家周围唯一一个公园Itstheonlyparkinourneighborhood.公共论♥坛♥关于Eagleton栅栏那我的孩子们要在哪玩啊采石场吗Imean,wherearemykidssupposedtoplay,therockquarry?那里有石头啊Theresrocksinthere.为什么我们不放火烧r栅栏呢你们知道的点燃它Whydontwejustsetfiretothefence?Youknow,setitablaze.那是纵火罪Thatsarson.呃那些留给律师去处理吧重点是能管用Well,letsleavet
13、hatuptothelawyers.Thepointis,itwouldwork.为什么我们不在他们栅栏周围建一道栅栏呢Whydontwebuildafencearoundtheirfence?为什么那样能给我们两道栅栏Why?-Itwouldgiveustwofences,所以如果他们要去他们的栅栏那搞维护还是什么soiftheyneededtogettotheirfenceformaintenanceandwhatnot,他们的裤子可能会被绊到theirpantsmightgetcaught.我儿子Joey试着爬上那道栅栏去Eagleton那边玩MysonJoeytriedtoscalet
14、hatfencetoplayontheEagletonside,然后摔伤了胳膊andhefellandhurthisarm.你们需要让那些人把栅栏拆下来Youneedtogetthosepeopletotearthatfencedown.这位女士是对的Thiswoman,sright.我向你们保证PaWnee的居民们Ipromiseyou,citizensofPawnee,还有可爱勇敢的Joeyandsweet,braveJoey,我会拆掉那道栅栏的Iwillteardownthatfence.好吧我还想再建议一次把它烧掉Okay,mjustgonnasuggestonemoretimetha
15、tweburnitdown.但随便你们怎么觉得吧Butwhateveryouguysthink.好的很好Yeah.Great.是的你好Yes,hi.我有个关于你们充气萨克斯的问题Ihaveaquestionaboutyourinflatablesaxophones.他们有不同大小的吗Dothosecomeindifferentsizes?480个我需要大概40打的那个mgonnaneedabout40dozenofthose.还有你们的霓虹色黑帮软呢相呢Also,whataboutyourneongangsterfedorahats?这样很无礼啊Thatwasrude.不管这里发生了什么立即停下Whateversgoingonhere,stopitimmediately.我只是在打电♥话♥而已Iwasjusttalking
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